why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
