The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
