Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
