I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
