Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
