Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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