I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Randomize
