glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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