Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.

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(540): View more from Virginia

hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her

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(615): View more from Tennessee

She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep

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(616): View more from Michigan

they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter

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(214): View more from Texas

Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.

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(510): View more from California

she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong

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(863): View more from Florida

Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.

(856): View more from New Jersey

You misuse your internet privileges.

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