Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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