Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
