I wish I only lived at night.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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