Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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