Im at strip club and am horny
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize