Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
