First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize