my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
