we're chasing vodka with high fives
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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