Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
should my penis look like a turkey
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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