I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
