She said her name was "party"
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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