I smell stomach acid.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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