i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
