do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize