Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
