The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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