is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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