i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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