Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
