How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
