you guys were way drunker than both of me
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
