Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
She needs sedatives and a leash
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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