Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
