i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize