There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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