i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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