I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
