Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
