I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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