tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.