Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?