This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.