she looked like the before picture.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
