you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
