i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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