Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Randomize
