Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
you inspire me to be a worse person
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
