Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
