I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i was born a porn star she said
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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