Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
