I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
