Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
