Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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