you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
