p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize