my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize