WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.