i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.