this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.