I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.