You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
