im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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