she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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