***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
