You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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