She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
