real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize