My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
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