remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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