My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize