we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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